Yeah, that feeling.
A sinking, depressing feeling in your chest. It’s bittersweet. Sweet – because the journey brought you places and set more emotions ablaze in your soul that you could possibly hope for, and yet bitter – for the journey has finally come to a closure, and those times would never come again.
As I close the final pages on my adventure, either trailing off the final lines of the epilogue or watching the credits roll, these feelings creeps up. It’s a fluctuating dual-emotion – if there is even such a thing. I couldn’t find the word for it, even after scouring for hours on the internet and punching comparable words into Thesaurus.com.
“You know you’ve read a good book when you turn the last page and feel a little as if you have lost a friend.”
– Paul Sweeny
It pierces you, both alike and yet, unlike a knife. It punctures deep into your soul without warning as you stand helpless, watching it sear its mark onto you. Though, the pain is not as cold and uncaring.
And it completes you.
But not entirely – you’re left with a tiny gap.
And as the days go by, something bores into your very being. What started as a tingling feeling is all grown up; engulfing. The little gap expanded – first into an opening, then to an all-out rift as it swallows and occupies every fraction of your thoughts.
It leaves you reeling, perplexed by its persistence. It fuels interpretation, and the search to quench this thirst begins. Perhaps not to end this feeling, but for a satisfactory explanation to the mechanism behind such sundering. It makes you a little restless, even.
It’s funny how a collection of words and make-believe could drive a man’s psyche into two – polarizing, and yet harmonious. Sometimes we come to terms with it, other times we don’t.
Hmm. Maybe I should try combing the dictionary.
And yeah, it’s probably because I just finished Transistor.
What are the books, games or other media that have left you feeling?